4 Sep 2010

in order to grow change must take place

sitting on my bed wearing a dress i had purchased 2 years ago , i reminisce of the past 2 years . these two years I've managed to gain and loose friends as well as weight . I've managed break hearts as well as get my heart broken . I've learnt to care and not care ( depending on the situation) . Ive learnt to let go of things which had no positive impact  on my life and hold on to those which did . i guess i can say that I've grown a lot throughout these 2 years ( not in height though  I'm still 5"3" ) .

and yet there's still more to see , more growing to do , more to feel . i get a rush just thinking of it , a mixture of emotions , excitement , fear , joy , sadness , curiosity . and even though I'm excited to get to see , do , taste , feel the future , I'm also secretly hopping that time would flow as slow as slow can be , just so i can really take in this moment .

its funny looking in the mirror and not just seeing the same old girl from 2 years ago staring back at you , instead an improved version  stares back at you . this time 2 years ago  there were things i wanted to achieve , and now that I've gotten what i wanted , i don't want to forget what it took to get it , the journey , whether good or bad , the tears , the laughter , the support as well as the let downs, the constant worry , the stress , the phone calls and text messages . the not knowing what tomorrow will bring and yet still have that gut feeling that all will somehow fall into place , not one bit i want to forget . and as I'm writing this , I'm also thinking of new things I'd like to achieve in the next 2 years to come and i just hope i don't loose my way .

if you're wondering , i got this dress 2 years ago when i went shopping for a dress for presentation evening ( an evening in which you are presented with you're GCSE/ A level certificates and your academic achievements are celebrated )  with my then friend ( i guess you loose those not worthy of you whilst growing up and finding ourselves ) and i was determined to find a sweet girly dress and yet elegant enough for the evening as i didn't want to look like all the other girls wearing tight dresses or club wear ( I'm not really into skin tight dresses ) i love this dress so much , it was the perfect thing to wear then . I'm hoping to make it to presentation evening this year in order to get my A level certificates and if i do , i have no idea what to wear this time -_-

do you have any future goals ? if yes what are they ? and what has changed in the past two years ?

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